Literary Speed Dating Part II: Neville Longbottom

Literary Speed Dating Part II: Neville Longbottom


ME: Hi Neville! How are you?

NEVILLE: I’m doing quite well, thanks. How ’bout yourself?

ME: I’m great, thanks for asking. So let’s get this interview started, shall we?


ME: Well, first, I just want to say thanks for slaying Nagini with the sword of Gryffindor and thus saving all of us from Lord Voldemort.

NEVILLE: You’re very welcome.

ME: So when you were at Hogwarts, you kept forgetting the passwords to the Gryffindor common room, thus causing many of your house mates to get very angry with you.

NEVILLE: Yeah, that blasted Sir Cadogan kept changing them so frequently I couldn’t remember them. I tried to write them down but I kept losing the paper…

ME: Well, I’ve taken the liberty of setting up a twitter account for the common room (@GryffindorCM) so the passwords can be sent directly to your phone! You’ll never forget them again!

NEVILLE: Thanks! That will come in handy seeing as I’m now the Head of Gryffindor House.

ME: Oh yes, I forgot. You teach Herbology there, correct?

NEVILLE: Yes, yes I do. I’ve always loved Herbology.

ME: Yeah.. almost too much. So let me ask the question everyone is thinking but is too afraid to ask, why in the world are you not a Hufflepuff? I mean, really?

NEVILLE: *hearty chuckle* Well, I guess the Sorting Hat saw qualities deep within me that I never even saw myself. It was only until Snape and the Death Eaters took over Hogwarts that I really began to feel like a true Gryffindor.

ME: So what was the first thing you thought when you crawled through the tunnel in the Room of Requirement, opened a hatch, and saw Harry, Hermione, and Ron staring back at you?

NEVILLE: Well, thankfully, I had just been thinking, “I really need a long tunnel with a hinged door that will take me to the Hog’s Head and I really need Harry, Ron, and Hermione to be on there with Aberforth”. Who knew the Room of Requirement was so specific.

ME: wow.. that very convenient! So how is your wife? You married Hannah Abbott, correct?

NEVILLE: We did marry and she’s great. She now own’s the Leaky Cauldron. We live above it.

ME: and isn’t she a Hufflepuff?

NEVILLE: why yes she is. Why?

ME: Oh no reason… *cough*Cloest Hufflepuff*cough*. So how’s Trevor?

NEVILLE: He’s great. He settled down with one of my old classmate’s toads and has about 300 children.

ME: aw, that’s great.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s