I ran across an article this morning entitled, “Is outdated dating etiquette keeping you single?“. Curious as to what revelations this author could possibly have, I read it. And boy do I have a lot to say…
- Who cares who asks whom out on a date? The truth is, it doesn’t matter anymore In his first point, Dave (the author) explains that 74% of men is a recent poll said that they “love it” when the woman asks them out, and therefore, women need to ask more often. Though a proud supporter of gender equality, I thoroughly believe in biblical gender roles. And if you ask me, the 74% of men who prefer to be asked out are either lazy or insecure. If a guy likes a girl, he should actively pursue her. Yes, rejection is hard but that is life. As the eventual leader of his family, the man’s duty is to be an active participant, leading his wife and his family toward Christ. By allowing or expecting the woman to make the first move, the man is placing himself in a role of passivity, taking all his responsibility and giving it to his female counterpart. So in my humble opinion, if we continue to see the trend of women asking men out and men not making the first move, we will have a very passive generation of men in our future.
- It’s absolutely OK to text or email a date request instead of calling or face-to-face
No. Just no. I don’t care how busy you are. If you want to ask a girl out, you need to do it in person. AFTER you ask, you can figure out the details via text, email, etc.
“I totally recognize that asking someone out can be scary. Doing it by text or email may make it a little less frightening from a rejection standpoint, so yes…the “digital ask” is totally valid. Also, the fact that it takes some of the stress out of the process is one major reason why I think it’s perfectly fine to ask someone out using any tech-based option that’s available.” – Dave
I agree with Dave. Texting your request DOES makes it less scary but that, my friends, is a bonafide cop-out. Rejection is a part of life and you can’t avoid it.
“The “real” work of dating and testing your interpersonal chemistry comes once you’re face-to-face with each other, and that’s what counts. ” – Dave
My point exactly, Dave. If you can’t find a guy man enough to do the ‘work’ straight from the beginning, then ladies, he isn’t worth your time.
- Have a video chat “pre-date” before a first in-person date to save both time and money ….Seriously. Long term relationships are maintained through commitment and sacrifice. If he’s not willing to sacrifice time or money for a first date then how can you expect him to sacrifice anything for the relationship? This is common decency people. By having a skype-date just to save time and money, you are basically saying, “hey, you’re not worth it”. And yes, maybe you won’t end up marrying that person but that person is still a human being and is ultimately going to be someone else’s spouse. You should always leave people better than you found them. Now, I think texting can be a great way to get to know each other but it also allows you to hide things and create a virtual version of yourself. You won’t truly know a person until you spend time with them face to face.
- Skip the three-day rule — and anything else that can slow down or sabotage your budding love connection “In general, waiting is outdated; other than a free table at a busy restaurant, who waits for just about anything anymore? “Instant gratification is too slow,” said brilliant writer and actress Carrie Fisher some years ago.” – Dave I agree. I think the 3-day rule is stupid, but not for the same reason. I think a lot of people get caught up in silly dating rules like this one out of fear they’ll come across as as desperate. They don’t want to do the ‘wrong thing’ and potentially ruin things. The best answer? Be yourself. If it went well and you liked spending time with her, text her. She won’t be offended and you won’t look desperate. Everyone has cell phones and checks them multiple times a day. We are used to quick responses and being connected. However, there is nothing wrong with waiting. You can give yourself a few days to process the date and determine how you are feeling. Three days won’t kill ‘your budding love connection’. A month? You waited too long, dude. But I think our generation could take the time to slow down. Life isn’t a race. It’s a marathon. Pace yourself.