Literary Speed Dating Part I: Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy

Literary Speed Dating Part I: Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy

ME: Hey Mr. Darcy! whats up?

DARCY: Hello Miss Gatewood.

ME: do you mind if I call you Fitz.. or Willy?


ME: Oh, well, then… thank you Mr. Darcy for letting me interview you. Lets go ahead and get started with the first question: How old are you?

DARCY: I am a man of eight and twenty years.

ME: awesome… older than I thought, but hey! Ok, so what do you do for work?

DARCY: My days are occupied mainly with matters of my estate, such as caring for the tenants, checking on my properties, and meeting with attournies to discuss terms of inheritance and income.

ME: so… you’re like a property manager for your home, cool! Where is your home?

DARCY: I live at my estate at Pemberley in Derbyshire. The grounds are quite lovely.

ME: Wow, sounds beautiful and super fancy. Bet the girls love it, eh’? *wink*

Darcy: I do not boast to know what goes on inside the minds of women. I am sure their minds would be filled with the many accomplishments women of society take great time and effort to possess. However, I cannot pretend that my 10,000 pounds a year doesn’t weigh heavy on their minds. 

ME:  So, what is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know?

DARCY: I… do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.

ME: That’s ok. You’re an introvert. It just takes you a little while to warm up to people. So what do you like ot do for fun?

DARCY: I enjoy listening to my sister, Georgiana, play piano. She’s quite talented. I also like to play cards and read. However, I dislike dancing. If I can help it, I avoid it entirely.

ME: Yeah, I’m not much of a dancer myself so I totally understand. Well, what are you most proud of?

DARCY: I am proud of my family, our pedigree, and the level of society we are currently residing in. I am also proud of my sister and her accomplishments, and of course, I am proud of my new wife, Mrs. Darcy.

ME:  Aw, that’s sweet. Let’s try a fun question: If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

DARCY: I would never wish to be an animal. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of their circumstances? I’d much prefer to stay who I am.

ME: Hm.. I guess you’re right. Well, on a serious note: If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life?

DARCY: I would have asked Elizabeth to dance.