Today I found out that the reason I didn’t get a job was because I am petite and look too young. I was told despite being highly qualified and having the best references and recommendations from current employees, my stature was a deal killer. And you know what? That’s life.
We Americans teach our children from day one that they are special and that they can do anything if they put their mind to it. In school we saw posters with corny inspirational sayings like, “shoot for the moon and if you’ll miss, you’ll land among the stars”. At my high school graduation ceremony, everyone was given a medal just because they graduated so as to make sure no one was left out. All these things were done out of good intentions. Parents love their kids and don’t want them to be disappointed or have their dreams crushed. They want to prolong the brutality of realty for as long as possible. But hey, life isn’t like the Disney Channel. We are not all going to be the main character who gets everything handed to them. You’ve got to work for things in this life. At least, the things thats matter. So yes, I do look young. I am frequently carded at movie theaters and am often asked which middle school I attend. And yes, I am petite. So with my powers combined, I may not be the most likely choice to meet your clients. I actually understand that. It makes logical sense. So despite my frustrations, I find myself thankful for the way God made me. He made me with a purpose in mind. I am an intricate part of His grand plan, as are YOU (Jeremiah 29:11). He knit everyone of us in our mother’s womb, hair by hair, skin cell by skin cell (Psalm 139). He made me petite, He made me youthful, He made me smart, and He made me talented.
So maybe I’m not the best fit for some jobs. I won’t necesarily get what I think I deserve in life. Or maybe I’m going to be the Doogie Howser of real estate. Only God knows. And you know what? I’m ok with that.
“I know that life is a doorway to eternity, and yet my heart so often gets lost in petty anxieties. It forgets the great way home that lies before it. Unprepared, given over to childish trivialities, it could be taken by surprise when the great hour comes and find that, for the sake of piffling pleasures, the one great joy has been missed. I am aware of this, but my heart is not. It seems unteachable; it continues its dreaming … always wavering between joy and depression.”
This quote was written by a 21 year old german protestant, Sophie Scholl, who was a member of The White Rose, a group of young people who resisted the Nazi regime through their six pamphlets. Sophie was caught along with her brother after distributing hundreds of letters at the University of Munich. She was interrogated, ultimately confessed, and beheaded four days after being caught. The one thing she never did was give up her cause, and most importantly, give up her faith. I was assigned the movie Sophie Scholl: The Final Days for my history class and while I watched this film, I was in awe of her strength in the face of adversity. She was bold, never backing down from the belief that Hitler was wrong. She stood up for the victims of Nazi Germany and fearlessly spoke against the regime throughout her trial. I found the quote above online. It is from Sophie Scholl: The Real Story of the Woman who Defied Hitler (2009). These past few months I have been anxious about internships, school, and my future. I have had a couple sleepless nights and haven’t been able to focus in my classes. As I read the quote, I was hit with conviction and with a sense that I am not alone in my feelings. I keep going back to Jeremiah 29:11, which states:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
But I am still filled with feelings of doubt and helplessness. As I read Sophie’s words, I am reminded once again how trivial my worries are. How silly it is to worry about something that the Lord has had planned out since the beginning of time; since he knit me together in my mother’s womb. “I am aware of this, but my heart is not”. These are some of the truest words I have heard in a long time. We are all aware of God’s promises for us and yet our mortal and sinful natures keep us from finding peace in the wake of His grace. Sophie’s words were my little reminder that I don’t want to miss my one great joy because of silly little things. Besides, God promises to provide us with everything we need (Matthew 6:25-34). So I will finish this post with some more words from Miss Scholl:
I pity people who can’t find laughter or at least some bit of amusement in the little doings of the day. I believe I could find something ridiculous even in the saddest moment, if necessary. It has nothing to do with being superficial. It’s a matter of joy in life.